Dropping like Flies
Hey
everybody,
It's seems
like every time I start to write my week I don't know what to say all of a
sudden. Maybe it's because I experience so much and it's a blur. But there is
always something to write about.
So, to start
I'd just like to say that I know God answers prayers and that the atonement of
Jesus Christ is REAL. This week was so up and down emotionally for me. I've
really been trying to keep a consistent positive attitude lately. And I tell
you what it's hard. I've been struggling with taking things too personally.
Like if I get rejected or I fail at something then I just feel like there is no
use in trying anymore. And this week was especially tough because pretty much
all of our investigators we had high hopes for have been dropped or have
dropped us. And I was just pouting about it. And I just kept getting this
negative feeling like no matter what I do, things don't work out. Which is
wrong of course, but I really did feel this way. So I knew that the only person
who knows what I'm going through is Christ. So I turned to him and asked him
what was wrong. And I got the simplest and clearest answer. Have faith in me
dummy! That was not the answer I was expecting. I thought I had faith. I mean,
we go out every day and face rejection because I have faith that someone is
ready. I really do. But there is faith that goes beyond that. So I realized
that it wasn't the lack of effort on my part, it was the lack of trust. And I
guess I was trying to control the outcomes of the people we were teaching. I
came to the realization that whether someone progresses or not is completely
out of my control. The only thing I can do is teach and testify as clear as I
can and provide a means of support and trust. But the response to this however,
is not up to me at all. And I realized this in district meeting. One of the
sisters talked about the prophet Nephi from the Book of Mormon. And this is the
Nephi towards the end, not the Nephi in the beginning. Anyways, she read Helaman
10:3-5. And this was exactly what I needed to hear. It says, "
Helaman
10: 3 And it came to pass as he was thus pondering--being much cast down
because of the wickedness of the people of the Nephites, their secret works of
darkness, and their murderings, and their plunderings, and all manner of
iniquities--and it came to pass as he was thus pondering in his heart, behold,
a voice came unto him saying:
4 Blessed
art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how
thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee,
unto this people. And thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine own
life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments.
5 And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will.
5 And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will.
Oh man that
struck me so hard. Because I was so worried and concerned about the bad choices
of others that I was doubting. And I realized that all I can do is my own part.
And the Lord will do the rest. And in return he will bless me. It just gave me
so much peace from that moment on. And now I was trusting in the Lord and being
patient and submissive to whatever the outcome of our efforts was. It made the
work more enjoyable. And the next day a member calls us to invite us to do
service with a non-member who he wants us to teach! So that was an immediate
testimony to me that God answers prayers and that he knows what we need. And to
put the icing on the cake, we taught about agency in our gospel principles
class which really helped me understand that the choices of others doesn't have
to affect me. It was just great, I loved it.
So that's
what's been on my mind lately and I just thought I would write it. In terms of
things we actually did, I don't have a whole lot. We just worked and worked. We
talked to everyone we could and looked to help and teach from every opportunity
and it has paid off. Even if our people our dropping like flies, that's ok,
because I have faith that it will all turn out alright.
And I would
just like to add as well that God expects every one of you to spread this
message of love. I'm learning that for every testimony that is made there is
also someone who needs to hear that testimony. Don't play on the Devils side
and keep your mouth shut. If it wasn't for an amazing Ward we have and for the
missionary minded people that they are, we would probably have very few people
to teach. It means so much to missionaries when a Ward is there to help them in
this work and to sacrifice their pride and time to reach out. But more
important than what I or other missionaries think, it's what the Lord thinks.
So go do it! But anyways, I love you all! I think about you and pray for you
guys all the time! Keep being awesome :)
I don't have
pics this week, sorry mom!
-Elder Schneider