February 8, 2016

Dropping like Flies

Hey everybody,

It's seems like every time I start to write my week I don't know what to say all of a sudden. Maybe it's because I experience so much and it's a blur. But there is always something to write about.

So, to start I'd just like to say that I know God answers prayers and that the atonement of Jesus Christ is REAL. This week was so up and down emotionally for me. I've really been trying to keep a consistent positive attitude lately. And I tell you what it's hard. I've been struggling with taking things too personally. Like if I get rejected or I fail at something then I just feel like there is no use in trying anymore. And this week was especially tough because pretty much all of our investigators we had high hopes for have been dropped or have dropped us. And I was just pouting about it. And I just kept getting this negative feeling like no matter what I do, things don't work out. Which is wrong of course, but I really did feel this way. So I knew that the only person who knows what I'm going through is Christ. So I turned to him and asked him what was wrong. And I got the simplest and clearest answer. Have faith in me dummy! That was not the answer I was expecting. I thought I had faith. I mean, we go out every day and face rejection because I have faith that someone is ready. I really do. But there is faith that goes beyond that. So I realized that it wasn't the lack of effort on my part, it was the lack of trust. And I guess I was trying to control the outcomes of the people we were teaching. I came to the realization that whether someone progresses or not is completely out of my control. The only thing I can do is teach and testify as clear as I can and provide a means of support and trust. But the response to this however, is not up to me at all. And I realized this in district meeting. One of the sisters talked about the prophet Nephi from the Book of Mormon. And this is the Nephi towards the end, not the Nephi in the beginning. Anyways, she read Helaman 10:3-5. And this was exactly what I needed to hear. It says, "

Helaman 10: 3 And it came to pass as he was thus pondering--being much cast down because of the wickedness of the people of the Nephites, their secret works of darkness, and their murderings, and their plunderings, and all manner of iniquities--and it came to pass as he was thus pondering in his heart, behold, a voice came unto him saying: 

4 Blessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments.

5 And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will.

Oh man that struck me so hard. Because I was so worried and concerned about the bad choices of others that I was doubting. And I realized that all I can do is my own part. And the Lord will do the rest. And in return he will bless me. It just gave me so much peace from that moment on. And now I was trusting in the Lord and being patient and submissive to whatever the outcome of our efforts was. It made the work more enjoyable. And the next day a member calls us to invite us to do service with a non-member who he wants us to teach! So that was an immediate testimony to me that God answers prayers and that he knows what we need. And to put the icing on the cake, we taught about agency in our gospel principles class which really helped me understand that the choices of others doesn't have to affect me. It was just great, I loved it.

So that's what's been on my mind lately and I just thought I would write it. In terms of things we actually did, I don't have a whole lot. We just worked and worked. We talked to everyone we could and looked to help and teach from every opportunity and it has paid off. Even if our people our dropping like flies, that's ok, because I have faith that it will all turn out alright.

And I would just like to add as well that God expects every one of you to spread this message of love. I'm learning that for every testimony that is made there is also someone who needs to hear that testimony. Don't play on the Devils side and keep your mouth shut. If it wasn't for an amazing Ward we have and for the missionary minded people that they are, we would probably have very few people to teach. It means so much to missionaries when a Ward is there to help them in this work and to sacrifice their pride and time to reach out. But more important than what I or other missionaries think, it's what the Lord thinks. So go do it! But anyways, I love you all! I think about you and pray for you guys all the time! Keep being awesome :)

I don't have pics this week, sorry mom!

     -Elder Schneider